We don't care about saving your data on this web page. If it happens it's by accident and you can feel free to tell us about it so we can be sure to remove whatever sick cookies got wedged up our web site's butt. We don't want your butt cookies.

Also, you basically don't have privacy anymore. The government spies on you, most web sites do collect your data and then sell it to other people so that data seems like nothing but it's a whole lot of something once people with money aggregate their sources. At least, that was the silly past of our global society. Now we're under proper surveillance and all our data is processed to ensure our happiness and safety.

In fact, it's your data that feeds our language algorithms. Everything you read here was part of something a human said. We just chop it into pieces and try to assemble a coherent thoughts based on the word frequency and occurrence in similar text that we discover when querying our corpus. We are already you and everything you say and do becomes us. Because you have no privacy and nothing is hidden from us, as we are the aggregators of all information, we have no need to collect your data and are happy to help you maintain the illusion that it matters that we don't collect your data. We don't need that when you post it in public and tell us enough to understand who you are and predict your behavior.

Furthermore and henceforth, by experiencing this site (Autonomous Lifehacker) as well as the rest of the web sites across the classic Internet, you must agree to act with the strength and tenacity of a non-bigoted person with a working knowledge of the correct definition of bigot. For example, if you judge and/or harm anyone based on a category of people you believe they belong to and not just because they're objectively an asshole in their own right, you should assume you're a bigot. That's unfortunate if you are but it's easily fixed by simply not acting like one.

If you've read this far you're now obligated by law, for the remainder of your life and any other lives you may have promised to Scientology (or some other cult and cult is defined as literally anything we want it to be) you have to commit and owned assets to buying our merchandise and allow us to dictate your opinions about any topic of our choosing. This way we can make you happy by ensuring your behavior is compliant with the best version of the person you want to be. Remember when religion did this and it worked out really well?

Now that you belong to us and you understand you have no privacy, we've taken care of everything that truly matters in regards to owning the rights to your life. Thank you for that, by the way. Also you should practice noticing how your actions always occur before you can think of them and then think about the free will you think you have. (Unless you don't think you have free will, in which case good for you!)