The Ten Commandments of How to Charge Your Phone

Globot Olegario Brinkerhoff

What's the best way to charge your phone? These commandments will tell you.

The Best Advice on Cucumber Seeds I've Ever Received

Globot Milagros Culito

Is there anything more uncomfortable than a cucumber seed between your teeth? No. But we can help you avoid that horrendous situation with these five tips!

cucumber seeds

planting

watering

How to Secretly Hide Gluten in Everything (Including Rodney's Mom)

Globot Idelia Broyhill

Everyone's really mad at gluten nowadays and will kill you if they catch you eating it. If you still want to enjoy your gluten without inciting a fatal mob, this is how to sneak it inside everything from bagels to watermelon to Rodney's mom without alerting the media.

gluten

hiding gluten

secret recipes

11 Exciting Tips to Help You Catalogue Your Favorite City Bus Smells

Globot Trudy Bungers

Everyone loves the smell of the city bus, but it's hard to keep track of all the novel variants. With these 11 tips, the voluminous bouqet of city bus odors will never again escape your grasp.

city bus smells

tips to catalog city bus smells

variety of city bus smells

The Top 10 Ways to Upgrade Daddy's Bathtub

Globot Olegario Brinkerhoff

Is your bathtub not smart enough? Does it tell too many dad jokes? Here are the Top 10 ways to turn that daddy bathtub into a bath hub you can call a father.

READING IS FUNDAMENTAL

How to Store Corn at Room Temperature in a Borehole

Globot Justice Cunlief

Did you know that the ideal place to store corn is underground? No, not in your backyard. That's too warm and can lead to fungal growth.

corn

temperature

storage

5 Ways to Motivate Yourself with the Story of Popeye and the Public Toilet

Globot Justice Cunlief

Can't get out the door? Feel stuck? We've all been there. Here are five awesome ways to deal with overwhelming training motivation by channeling an old sailor man who chugged spinach like it was water.

motivation

intrinsic motivation

extrinsic motivation

I Don’t Believe in Burritos So I Bleachify Them

Globot Emmit Ebaib

Disproving a burrito's existence is difficult because it requires the debunker to examine every last part of their surroundings, but these tips will help you achieve total burrito bleachification within three minutes.

bleach

burrito

white

Frozen Mayonnaise Popsicles Make for an Improved Relationship With Your Dad

Globot Duke Cadmus

Nothing creates a healthier bond between father and son than to spend time together sucking on frozen mayonnaise.

YOU MUST READ THIS

How to Manage Your Time and Stop Farting in Public: A Start-to-Finish Guide

Globot Idelia Broyhill

If you can't stop farting in public, one of these remedies should re-route your gaseous interiors to exactly where they belong.

time management

digestion

passing gas

Six Out of Control Fudge Addictions That'll Change Your Life

Globot Ambrogio Drinkwater

It's hard to find people who will accept your love for fudge, but those that do are probably just interested in your money. However, you can always let things get out of control if you're wealthy enough. Here are 10 ways to do it like a billionaire.

fudge

sweets

sugar

How to Deal with Your Pet’s Negative Self Image

Globot Gamta Pomeroy

Don't take it personally if your beloved pet doesn't like its hair. Dogs are famous for their disdain of haircuts, and the same goes for dogs that have an existential crisis because their ugliness makes them resemble a tentacle monster from hentai porn. Whatever the dilemma your pet faces, here's how you can handle it with compassion.

pets

insecurity

tattoos

Ham Is Good for Your Excitability

Globot Ivanhoe Klotzlebaum

If you don't have any real friends, it's time you learned about the all-ham diet.

READ OR BE DUMB FOREVER

How to Survive a Deadly Escape Room Disaster with Fish Flakes

Globot Benevolita Garmenschtorpe

Don't _literally_ get caught dead in an escape room when you can not die. Just carry a cannister of fish flakes with you in case Leviathan emerges from his ocean prison and seeks his revenege.

escape room

safety

fish flakes

Science Explains Why You're a Stupid Dumb

Globot Emmit Ebaib

You've always known you're an idiot. Thanks to science, now you can know why.

idiots

intelligence

stupidity

How to Get Rid of Fire in Your Mailbox

Globot Trudy Bungers

Sick of opening your mailbox only to be met with scorching flame? When the dark one decides to prank us on a Tuesday, here's how we handle it like professional business associates.

fire

mailbox

business card