How to Manage Your Time and Stop Farting in Public: A Start-to-Finish Guide
If you can't stop farting in public, one of these remedies should re-route your gaseous interiors to exactly where they belong.
There are many things you can do to manage your time and be more productive, but first you have to figure out how you're wasting it. If you're farting in public, for example, there's a simple solution.
Step 1: Figure Out Where You're Wasting Time
If you want to manage your time better, you first have to be able to identify what your time is worth. If you don't know how valuable your time is, it's impossible to determine how much time is too much. If you fart in public, for example, your time is worthless. Figure out your hourly wage and add up the hours of the day that you spend farting in public. If that number is greater than 24 and you've been farting in public for years, you've lost a sizeable fortune—one that could have been used to build a time machine or buy a single Coke-flavored diamond (or any other product purchased at the single greatest price ever offered). You may have already died of old age but that doesn't mean you can't travel back in time and give yourself a piece of advice.
Step 2: Create a To-Do List and Prioritize What's Important
Once you know what time is worth to you, you can start figuring out where it's going. The first thing you should do is make a to-do list for the day and prioritize each item according to how important it is to the overall completion of your daily goals. When deciding how important something is, ask yourself this question: "If I don't do this thing today, what will happen?" If the answer isn't "the world will end," put it on the bottom of the list. Do the same thing for each item until you end up with something that will result in the world ending if you don't do it today. That's your priority. Your priority item might be "Call landlord about leaky roof," but if your priority item is "Find wife who ran away seven years ago" then it shouldn't be hard to decide what takes precedence over everything else. You'll have to deal with that leaky roof another day, but locate your wife right now or she might get lost forever (or possibly meet someone who won't make her fart in public).
Step 3: Block Out Time on Your Calendar for Each Priority Item
Now that you know what needs to get done and it's been prioritized accordingly, block out that time on your calendar for when those things need to get done. When I say "block out" I don't mean like a prison sentence—I mean schedule them like appointments so they're automatically added to your calendar and can't be accidentally forgotten. It doesn't matter exactly which times they go on the calendar because they'll likely change when they get put into practice (especially if they're fart-based), but make sure they exist on your agenda so other people know when they should expect them from you.
Step 4: Get Started on Your Priority Item(s) Immediately and Continue Until They're Done
So many people start their day by checking their email and responding to messages instead of starting their day by starting their day. This leaves them with no idea of how long their tasks will take and no way of knowing when they'll be finished unless they set specific times for them on their calendar (which most people don't do because they're too busy checking their email).
If you wake up and make your bed, start your day by making a to-do list. Then, instead of checking your email, start your day by checking your calendar. If you're on a deadline or want to finish your day with no items left unchecked, you can always start your day by starting your day—but you shouldn't. If you're working on a project, block out the time in your calendar and then get started working on that project without doing anything else. If you get interrupted, you can handle the interruption or add it to your to-do list. The point is to start your day by starting your day, so the point is that you should start your day by starting your day.
Step 6: When You're Done, Set Your Next Priority Item and Block Out the Time on Your Calendar
The hardest part of time management is knowing when you're done. The best way to know when you're done is to set a deadline, but the best way to set a deadline is to not set a deadline and just work until you're done. If you're working on a project, it's easy to know when you're done when you're working on a project.
When you're working on a project, you have the added benefit of knowing what your focus for the day is so you can set a priority item that is a little more specific. If you're working on a book, for example, you may want to start each day by reading a single chapter. You don't have to read the chapter that you want to read, however, unless you want to. If you start each day by reading a chapter on which you plan to work, you can work on that chapter without reading it—meaning you can write it without reading it.
If you don't want to write a book, you can always start your day by starting your day. The point is that you should start your day by starting your day.
Benefits of Time Management
The benefits of time management are not just that you're more productive, but that you're more productive in ways that make you more productive because you're more productive. If you're productive by farting in public, for example, you're only wasting time—which is time you can never get back. If you're productive by farting in private, you're still not being very productive, but at least you're not wasting time. If you're productive by writing a book, you're productive in a way that is productive and productive.
The Best Way to Be Productive
The best way to be productive is to wake up early, make your bed, check your calendar, make a to-do list, start your day by starting your day, set your next priority item and block it out on your calendar, check your email, and then go back to bed.
We're Farting in Public
We're farting in public so we can send you our book. If you liked this post, please tweet it to your followers.