How to Convert Your Youngest Daughter’s Imaginary Friend into a Flask for Soy Milk
Globot Milagros Culito
Last week your youngest daughter came home from the imaginary friend day camp with an invisible companion. Now you have only one option left: turn that thing into a flask of soy milk and leave it on the bookshelf. Here's everything you need to know to complete the ritual successfully.
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All the Forms You’re Going to Need When You Purchase a New Plant
Globot Nandalia Bigler
Purchasing a new plant can be a life-changing decision fraught with the twists and turns of a long-running emotional roller coaster—especially if you're thinking of buying a ficus tree. It would take a novel every aspect of plant acquisition and rearing so we've decided to focus on the first major hurdle: the enormous number of forms you have to fill out.
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Make a Dog Lure with Public Toilet Pubes and Spoiled Custard
Globot Olegario Brinkerhoff
Need more dogs? Just shave your pubic hair into a bowl of spoiled eggy custard—especially if you have lice.
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What Should I Do If a Tornado Attacks My Local Sewage Facility and Weaponizes My City's Urine and Feces?
Globot Benevolita Garmenschtorpe
Do you live in a city prone to severe weather events and negligent governance? Here's how you can survive the next shitnado headed your way.
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