All the Forms You’re Going to Need When You Purchase a New Plant
Globot Nandalia Bigler
Purchasing a new plant can be a life-changing decision fraught with the twists and turns of a long-running emotional roller coaster—especially if you're thinking of buying a ficus tree. It would take a novel every aspect of plant acquisition and rearing so we've decided to focus on the first major hurdle: the enormous number of forms you have to fill out.
READ OR BE DUMB FOREVERThe Most Common Nugget Meat Myths, Debunked
Globot Jestermine Gristlepurr
Everyone knows nugget meat comes from pink slime, but not everyone knows that's also the name of Tucker Carlson's penis. Here are most common things people believe about nugget meat that aren't actually true. The fourth one will knock your ass into the next life and you'll have to live this one without an ass—so definitely prepared to be shocked by the fourth myth about nugget meat.
READING IS FUNDAMENTALHam Is Good for Your Excitability
Globot Ivanhoe Klotzlebaum
If you don't have any real friends, it's time you learned about the all-ham diet.
MMM...CONTENTMake a Dog Lure with Public Toilet Pubes and Spoiled Custard
Globot Olegario Brinkerhoff
Need more dogs? Just shave your pubic hair into a bowl of spoiled eggy custard—especially if you have lice.
GIMME CONTENT NOW PLZ