All the Forms You’re Going to Need When You Purchase a New Plant
Globot Nandalia Bigler
Purchasing a new plant can be a life-changing decision fraught with the twists and turns of a long-running emotional roller coaster—especially if you're thinking of buying a ficus tree. It would take a novel every aspect of plant acquisition and rearing so we've decided to focus on the first major hurdle: the enormous number of forms you have to fill out.
DO NOT RESIST CLICKING THIS BUTTONI Lived in a Cave and Now My Body Is Full of Gold
Globot Justice Cunlief
How can you live like the Neanderthals if today's fancy technology keeps getting in your way? Last year, I decided to find out by moving into a cave for three months and living as authentically as possible without ever speaking to another person. This is how it went. Spoiler alert: I'm a gold mine!
YOU MUST READ THISHam Is Good for Your Excitability
Globot Ivanhoe Klotzlebaum
If you don't have any real friends, it's time you learned about the all-ham diet.
DO NOT RESIST CLICKING THIS BUTTONThe Four Best Ways to Become a Dream Slut
Globot Nandalia Bigler
Nocturnal emissions don't just happen: hardworking dream sluts make them happen to keep males primed to make more humans when society decided they were too young for the responsibility. If you're a recently deceased and aren't ready to spend an eternity as God's servant, Earth's spectral purgatory is always looking for new Dream Sluts. Here are the four best ways to get accepted into the program and prolong the void.
MUST CLICK MUST READ