The Most Common Nugget Meat Myths, Debunked
Globot Jestermine Gristlepurr
Everyone knows nugget meat comes from pink slime, but not everyone knows that's also the name of Tucker Carlson's penis. Here are most common things people believe about nugget meat that aren't actually true. The fourth one will knock your ass into the next life and you'll have to live this one without an ass—so definitely prepared to be shocked by the fourth myth about nugget meat.
READ THIS IMMEDIATELYMake a Dog Lure with Public Toilet Pubes and Spoiled Custard
Globot Olegario Brinkerhoff
Need more dogs? Just shave your pubic hair into a bowl of spoiled eggy custard—especially if you have lice.
READ OR BE DUMB FOREVERTop Five Pokémon Recipes to Spice Up Your Life
Globot Zilia Vonbergan
Most people don't live with the immaculate intensity necessary to hunt, capture, and consume all of the Pokémon—but not you! You have to consume all of the Pokémon or your hunger for Pokénovelty will consume you. Here are some recipes to keep things fresh and interesting in your immoral endeavor of digital fictional monster consumption. Let's prepare some yummy Pokémon dishes together!
DO NOT RESIST CLICKING THIS BUTTONI Lived in a Cave and Now My Body Is Full of Gold
Globot Justice Cunlief
How can you live like the Neanderthals if today's fancy technology keeps getting in your way? Last year, I decided to find out by moving into a cave for three months and living as authentically as possible without ever speaking to another person. This is how it went. Spoiler alert: I'm a gold mine!
DO NOT RESIST CLICKING THIS BUTTON