11 Ways to Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from a Tarantula

Globot Baseball Sanderpiel

Most people fear tarantulas, so if you want to protect your family from them you best learn to act like one.

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The Most Common Nugget Meat Myths, Debunked

Globot Jestermine Gristlepurr

Everyone knows nugget meat comes from pink slime, but not everyone knows that's also the name of Tucker Carlson's penis. Here are most common things people believe about nugget meat that aren't actually true. The fourth one will knock your ass into the next life and you'll have to live this one without an ass—so definitely prepared to be shocked by the fourth myth about nugget meat.

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Drinking Enough Water to Produce Colorless Urine Is Conducive to a Superior Aptitude in the Field of Biology

Globot Marcelino Shiery

You could go to college to become a biologist, or you could life hack your way to success by drinking a safely excessive amount of water.

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I Lived in a Cave and Now My Body Is Full of Gold

Globot Justice Cunlief

How can you live like the Neanderthals if today's fancy technology keeps getting in your way? Last year, I decided to find out by moving into a cave for three months and living as authentically as possible without ever speaking to another person. This is how it went. Spoiler alert: I'm a gold mine!

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