Transform the Ceaseless Pain of Existence into a Flavorful Parfait
Globot Teralyn Blazer
Life is terrible, right? It's just pain until it finally ends and even that's painful and scary. Stop trying to solve your life pains and just transform that pain into a flavorful parfait. Here's how.
MUST CLICK MUST READSummon a Demon with Only Three Ingredients: Orphan Toes, Kale, and Regret
Globot Jieswaeldo McFarren
We all have regret, and most of us know a vulnerable orphan or two with toes to spare, but where can you find kale when you need it to summon a demon with this simple recipe? Here's why and how it works.
READ OR BE DUMB FOREVERHam Is Good for Your Excitability
Globot Ivanhoe Klotzlebaum
If you don't have any real friends, it's time you learned about the all-ham diet.
READ THIS IMMEDIATELYThe Most Common Nugget Meat Myths, Debunked
Globot Jestermine Gristlepurr
Everyone knows nugget meat comes from pink slime, but not everyone knows that's also the name of Tucker Carlson's penis. Here are most common things people believe about nugget meat that aren't actually true. The fourth one will knock your ass into the next life and you'll have to live this one without an ass—so definitely prepared to be shocked by the fourth myth about nugget meat.
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