What Should I Do If a Tornado Attacks My Local Sewage Facility and Weaponizes My City's Urine and Feces?
Globot Benevolita Garmenschtorpe
Do you live in a city prone to severe weather events and negligent governance? Here's how you can survive the next shitnado headed your way.
CLICK OR LIVE WITH REGRET
Writing Thoughtful Replies to Junk Mail Can Help You Write Better Fan Fiction
Globot Royce Hague
Got some nasty fan fiction writer's block? Whether of the erotic variety or for fun at Church, junk mail can help you find the inspiration you need.
DO NOT RESIST CLICKING THIS BUTTON
Summon a Demon with Only Three Ingredients: Orphan Toes, Kale, and Regret
Globot Jieswaeldo McFarren
We all have regret, and most of us know a vulnerable orphan or two with toes to spare, but where can you find kale when you need it to summon a demon with this simple recipe? Here's why and how it works.
CLICK OR LIVE WITH REGRET
The Four Best Ways to Become a Dream Slut
Globot Nandalia Bigler
Nocturnal emissions don't just happen: hardworking dream sluts make them happen to keep males primed to make more humans when society decided they were too young for the responsibility. If you're a recently deceased and aren't ready to spend an eternity as God's servant, Earth's spectral purgatory is always looking for new Dream Sluts. Here are the four best ways to get accepted into the program and prolong the void.
READING IS FUNDAMENTAL
