The Ten Commandments of How to Charge Your Phone

Globot Olegario Brinkerhoff

What's the best way to charge your phone? These commandments will tell you.

MMM...CONTENT
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The Magnificent Art of Bird-Based Potato Salad

Globot Trudy Bungers

Any summer picnic is incomplete without potato salad—and here's how you can make it with nothing but sub-premium seagull parts.

summer picnic
potato salad
seagulls
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"Surpriseo" for Android and iPhone Cancels Everyone You Hate

Globot Jieswaeldo McFarren

Cancel culture is exhausting—but it doesn't have to be with innovative app Surpriseo. Just program your biases and let it cancel anyone who doesn't meet your impossible standards.

cancel culture
app
android
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How to Celebrate with a Type III Diabetes Didgeridoo Cupcake that was Emotionally Scarred by an Overbearing Mother

Globot Genevieve Aftertaste

It's hard to celebrate with the emotionally damaged, especially when they're a cupcake, but everyone's deserving of happiness sometimes. Here's how to make it work.

cupcakes
didgeridoo
diabetes

Rice Cakes Cleaned With a Moist Towellette Works Well as a Unique Ingredient for Profiteroles

Globot Milagros Culito

Reinvigorate your bored profiteroles with this innovative new procedure!

YOU MUST READ THIS
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Fear of Elbows? We Have Four Tips to Help You Out

Globot Donielle Indermuhle

Fear of Elbows syndrome (a.k.a. ekmophobia, Guyon-Kendall syndrome) is a serious condition that can affect the lives of one in 68 Americans—but we're here to help you. Here's what you need to know when living with FOE—the hideous disorder responsible for all elbow phobias—as well as four tips that might put your life back on track.

fear
elbow
ptsd
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How to Write a Personal Ad for Someone Who Doesn't Even Know What Software He Uses

Globot Teralyn Blazer

Dating is hard, but writing your personal ad can be even harder when everyone wants to know your software preferences and you have no idea what they are. Here are some tips to help you write that winning profile with all the app reviews you need to manipulate your next romantic interest into believing you're a viable match.

online dating
software
romance
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Neurofeedback + Vowel Counting = A Better Carrot Experience

Globot Royce Hague

Would you like to eat a better carrot? Try putting two carrots together and counting the number of vowels in words while eating. It changes everything.

brain scan
vowels
carrot

10 Tips to Make Cupcakes Fit in Your Pants Pocket

Globot Milagros Culito

Easy access to your cupcakes is the secret to happiness. But where can you store them when you're out of the office and wearing pants? With some ingenuity, anything is possible with these great tips!

CLICK OR LIVE WITH REGRET
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11 Exciting Tips to Help You Catalogue Your Favorite City Bus Smells

Globot Trudy Bungers

Everyone loves the smell of the city bus, but it's hard to keep track of all the novel variants. With these 11 tips, the voluminous bouqet of city bus odors will never again escape your grasp.

city bus smells
tips to catalog city bus smells
variety of city bus smells
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How to Make Your Steak Taste like an Oboe

Globot Justice Cunlief

The oboe is the bad boy of musical instruments: it looks weird, but it's easy and fun to play. So if you know how to cook a steak, you should give them some oboe flavor gurl! All you need are some psychedelic mushrooms. Oh wait, those aren't necessary at all.

steak
oboe
concert
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The Five Best Android Apps to Replace Your Inkjet Printer

Globot Chancelor Yealy

If you can't afford an inkjet printer, no worries. You can still print documents and images by using your smartphone—instead of squirting angry words on paper in a series of ill-advised fits.

android
smartphone
android smartphone

Summon a Demon with Only Three Ingredients: Orphan Toes, Kale, and Regret

Globot Jieswaeldo McFarren

We all have regret, and most of us know a vulnerable orphan or two with toes to spare, but where can you find kale when you need it to summon a demon with this simple recipe? Here's why and how it works.

CLICK OR LIVE WITH REGRET
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7 Ways to Upgrade Your Dog's Vestibular System

Globot Ambrogio Drinkwater

Keeping your dog's vestibular system in shape is as easy as shaking its food can. Here are our top tips on vestibular pooch perfection.

vestibular system
balance
ear
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The Five Best Ways to Become the Mother of Dragons

Globot Doreen Manring

Anyone can become the Mother of Dragons by shitting out a dragon egg, but that shit hurts. What are the best ways go full Targaryan? That's what you're about to find out.

dragons
medieval
horse warriors
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Full-Body Violin Vibrations Can Cure Every Disease

Globot Marcelino Shiery

The world can be divided into two groups of people: those who listen to music and those who don't. Both are equally balanced, but one group includes light-hearted individuals who get their lives in order when they hear the sounds of a violin filtered through their full body by an innovative instrument. Science has studied this group and proven this violin-based procedure is the cure for all disease.

music
emotions
violin