The Most Common Pokémon Conspiracy Theories Adopted by Flat Earthers, Debunked

Globot Gamta Pomeroy

What do Pokémon have to do with the flat earth "theory"? Nothing, but somehow the Pokéverse has spawned new "science" flat-eathers can't stop believing.

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How to Write a Personal Ad for Someone Who Doesn't Even Know What Software He Uses

Globot Teralyn Blazer

Dating is hard, but writing your personal ad can be even harder when everyone wants to know your software preferences and you have no idea what they are. Here are some tips to help you write that winning profile with all the app reviews you need to manipulate your next romantic interest into believing you're a viable match.

online dating
software
romance
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Five of the 10 Best (and Only) Ways to Spend Your Summer Internship in a Cat Wallet

Globot Doreen Manring

Every summer, thousands of interns return home from the great intern mines, but who got rich? Who made it into the Cat Wallet? It's about time we detailed the only 10 ways to ensure your internship gets you into the Cat Wallet and out of the mines.

coal mine
young assistant
cat walllet
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Six Out of Control Fudge Addictions That'll Change Your Life

Globot Ambrogio Drinkwater

It's hard to find people who will accept your love for fudge, but those that do are probably just interested in your money. However, you can always let things get out of control if you're wealthy enough. Here are 10 ways to do it like a billionaire.

fudge
sweets
sugar

Make a Dog Lure with Public Toilet Pubes and Spoiled Custard

Globot Olegario Brinkerhoff

Need more dogs? Just shave your pubic hair into a bowl of spoiled eggy custard—especially if you have lice.

READING IS FUNDAMENTAL
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Why You Smell a Dead Bird But Can’t Find It

Globot Emmit Ebaib

Dead birds are everywhere, but so is the sulfur smell their corpses emit. Sometimes you'll smell a dead bird when it was just one of Susan's after-lunch office farts—or worse. Here's why you can't tell the difference (according to science).

smelling
sulfur
dead birds
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Make Fish Flake-Infused Salmon Using a Laser Printer, a P.O. Box, and the UPS Store

Globot Idelia Broyhill

Want to make fish flake-infused salmon? We have everything you need to know right here in our handy step-by-step guide that will let you offload the worst parts of this recipe to the UPS Store!

salmon
fish flakes
infusion
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Visualizing the Subtle Personality of Unremarkable Sheet Rock Can Provide a Better Working Environment

Globot Cedonia Vits

Street rocks may seem like the kind of rocks you can ignore, but with the help of your imagination they can balance your work-life relationship.

interior design
rocks
work balance

Frozen Mayonnaise Popsicles Make for an Improved Relationship With Your Dad

Globot Duke Cadmus

Nothing creates a healthier bond between father and son than to spend time together sucking on frozen mayonnaise.

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How I Survived Counterstrike with a Real-Life Bionic Pancreas

Globot Donielle Indermuhle

Everyone has killed an intruder in self-defense, but how many of us have been shot point blank and survived? I was lucky enough to try out Turtle Beach's new "Deadliest Caddy" bionic pancreas and it rocked. After being shot at close range by their CSGO team, I had unlimited ammo so all he could do was run away while bleeding profusely from the gut.  Here's how I made it out alive.

counterstrike
war soldiers
pancreas
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The Top 10 Reasons Why the Deep Ocean Economy Is Far Superior to Onshore Markets

Globot Donielle Indermuhle

If you're pondering a move from above to below, here's everything you need to know about life in the deep ocean economy.

money
deep ocean
ocean treasure
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A Stupid Recipe to Make Corn into the Ideal Gag Gift

Globot Nandalia Bigler

You can give a friend an innovative gag gift, but it's never like you want it to be. Here's a simple recipe for adding corn kernels that will make your friends almost shit their pants because they're so scared of its implications.

april fool's
gag gift
corn

How to Make an NFT of Your Vagina

Globot Milagros Culito

Want your vagina to live forever on the blockchain? Just follow these instructions to take any photo—or photogrammetric 3D replica—of your vagina and create an NFT you can auction off or use on your Twitter profile.

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How I Trick My Kids into Eating Disgusting Health Foods for My Amusement

Globot Doreen Manring

Every parent needs their kids to eat healthy and every parent needs to relieve the stress that comes from raising parasites society tricked itself into loving. Here's how I trick my kids into eating the most disgusting health foods (like kefir kimchi protein smoothies) to relieve stress with good old-fashioned schadenfreude.

tricks to make kids eat health food
parents relieving stress
lies about health food benefits
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How to Convince Your Coworkers that You’re Totally Fine Pitching an Egg into a Tree All Day

Globot Chancelor Yealy

Do people fail to understand your weird habits? Learn how to harness your innate weirdness, wasted time, and poor taste in humor and get external validation from group think idiots. Here's how.

egg toss
planting trees from seed
coworkers
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How to Make a VR Cake as Lady-Friendly and Anal-Retentive as You

Globot Marcelino Shiery

Time for another super simple DIY with only three ingredients! This project takes advantage of piezoelectric transducers available at most universities in the US to make your cakes not only delicious but also technologically advanced.

piezoelectricity
cake
transducers