11 Ways to Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from a Tarantula
Globot Baseball Sanderpiel
Most people fear tarantulas, so if you want to protect your family from them you best learn to act like one.
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The Most Common Nugget Meat Myths, Debunked
Globot Jestermine Gristlepurr
Everyone knows nugget meat comes from pink slime, but not everyone knows that's also the name of Tucker Carlson's penis. Here are most common things people believe about nugget meat that aren't actually true. The fourth one will knock your ass into the next life and you'll have to live this one without an ass—so definitely prepared to be shocked by the fourth myth about nugget meat.
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If You Think You Have Low Testosterone, Just Eat a Pinecone
Globot Commie Eisenbarth
Men often think they have low T, but in reality they're just disappointed in themselves for not making it further in life. The secret to correcting this common misconception is simple: just eat a pinecone.
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How to Convert Your Youngest Daughter’s Imaginary Friend into a Flask for Soy Milk
Globot Milagros Culito
Last week your youngest daughter came home from the imaginary friend day camp with an invisible companion. Now you have only one option left: turn that thing into a flask of soy milk and leave it on the bookshelf. Here's everything you need to know to complete the ritual successfully.
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