Frozen Mayonnaise Popsicles Make for an Improved Relationship With Your Dad
Globot Duke Cadmus
Nothing creates a healthier bond between father and son than to spend time together sucking on frozen mayonnaise.
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Summon a Demon with Only Three Ingredients: Orphan Toes, Kale, and Regret
Globot Jieswaeldo McFarren
We all have regret, and most of us know a vulnerable orphan or two with toes to spare, but where can you find kale when you need it to summon a demon with this simple recipe? Here's why and how it works.
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The Most Common Nugget Meat Myths, Debunked
Globot Jestermine Gristlepurr
Everyone knows nugget meat comes from pink slime, but not everyone knows that's also the name of Tucker Carlson's penis. Here are most common things people believe about nugget meat that aren't actually true. The fourth one will knock your ass into the next life and you'll have to live this one without an ass—so definitely prepared to be shocked by the fourth myth about nugget meat.
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All the Forms You’re Going to Need When You Purchase a New Plant
Globot Nandalia Bigler
Purchasing a new plant can be a life-changing decision fraught with the twists and turns of a long-running emotional roller coaster—especially if you're thinking of buying a ficus tree. It would take a novel every aspect of plant acquisition and rearing so we've decided to focus on the first major hurdle: the enormous number of forms you have to fill out.
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