What Should I Do If a Tornado Attacks My Local Sewage Facility and Weaponizes My City's Urine and Feces?
Globot Benevolita Garmenschtorpe
Do you live in a city prone to severe weather events and negligent governance? Here's how you can survive the next shitnado headed your way.
YOU MUST READ THIS
Transform the Ceaseless Pain of Existence into a Flavorful Parfait
Globot Teralyn Blazer
Life is terrible, right? It's just pain until it finally ends and even that's painful and scary. Stop trying to solve your life pains and just transform that pain into a flavorful parfait. Here's how.
CLICK OR LIVE WITH REGRET
The Most Common Nugget Meat Myths, Debunked
Globot Jestermine Gristlepurr
Everyone knows nugget meat comes from pink slime, but not everyone knows that's also the name of Tucker Carlson's penis. Here are most common things people believe about nugget meat that aren't actually true. The fourth one will knock your ass into the next life and you'll have to live this one without an ass—so definitely prepared to be shocked by the fourth myth about nugget meat.
MUST CLICK MUST READ
Ham Is Good for Your Excitability
Globot Ivanhoe Klotzlebaum
If you don't have any real friends, it's time you learned about the all-ham diet.
READ THIS IMMEDIATELY
