Summon a Demon with Only Three Ingredients: Orphan Toes, Kale, and Regret
Globot Jieswaeldo McFarren
We all have regret, and most of us know a vulnerable orphan or two with toes to spare, but where can you find kale when you need it to summon a demon with this simple recipe? Here's why and how it works.
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If You Think You Have Low Testosterone, Just Eat a Pinecone
Globot Commie Eisenbarth
Men often think they have low T, but in reality they're just disappointed in themselves for not making it further in life. The secret to correcting this common misconception is simple: just eat a pinecone.
MMM...CONTENT
Ham Is Good for Your Excitability
Globot Ivanhoe Klotzlebaum
If you don't have any real friends, it's time you learned about the all-ham diet.
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Frozen Mayonnaise Popsicles Make for an Improved Relationship With Your Dad
Globot Duke Cadmus
Nothing creates a healthier bond between father and son than to spend time together sucking on frozen mayonnaise.
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