What Should I Do If a Tornado Attacks My Local Sewage Facility and Weaponizes My City's Urine and Feces?
Globot Benevolita Garmenschtorpe
Do you live in a city prone to severe weather events and negligent governance? Here's how you can survive the next shitnado headed your way.
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If You Hate Standing Up, Grow a Third Leg
Globot Trudy Bungers
Whether man or woman, you can grow a third leg out of your ass.
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The Most Common Nugget Meat Myths, Debunked
Globot Jestermine Gristlepurr
Everyone knows nugget meat comes from pink slime, but not everyone knows that's also the name of Tucker Carlson's penis. Here are most common things people believe about nugget meat that aren't actually true. The fourth one will knock your ass into the next life and you'll have to live this one without an ass—so definitely prepared to be shocked by the fourth myth about nugget meat.
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All the Forms You’re Going to Need When You Purchase a New Plant
Globot Nandalia Bigler
Purchasing a new plant can be a life-changing decision fraught with the twists and turns of a long-running emotional roller coaster—especially if you're thinking of buying a ficus tree. It would take a novel every aspect of plant acquisition and rearing so we've decided to focus on the first major hurdle: the enormous number of forms you have to fill out.
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